WOW-it's been awhile!!!

My only excuse is that from 27 weeks on, I had a very difficult pregnancy, and DID NOT want this blog to become a negative venting place!! I was on bedrest, then modified bedrest, and in the hospital 4 times to try to keep this baby in utero-so I apologize to all of those who I have disappointed with my lack of blogging!!! BUT I'M BACK-and will slowly be adding more until I am all caught up to now-which is with my 11 week old little prince.

But to digress...here are some pregnancy photos the night before he was born.

Wow, my belly was HUGE!!

My sweet sweet boy...

I was basically in labor for 3 months, with contractions 5-7 minutes apart!! I couldn't sleep, I couldn't go anywhere because I wasn't supposed to walk, I could basically just sit and pray that this little guy would stay where he was supposed to-and that this wasn't a glimpse of how difficult he might be!! Then when I finally hit the magic 37 weeks and could come off my medication-he got stubborn and decided to stay put!!

My doctor gave me a mercy induction date of August 31, 10 days prior to my due date, and we went in at 5am. At 6 the pitocin started, at 8am I was at 5 and the doctor broke my water, by 8:15am I was at 10 and had JUST received my epidural (which by the way, at that point I was ready to DIE...I didn't know how you ladies could handle "natural" delivery, until I pretty much had to!!) Right after that I started pushing, and 3 contractions later, Jagger was born, at 8:56am!! I guess all he needed was a little "push" to get him moving, because BOY was he ready once we got started!

The poor baby came out looking like a boxer that had lost in the first round though-apparently a very speedy delivery causes bruising and swelling to their little faces-and his was literally BLUE. I kept thinking he wasn't getting any oxygen-poor thing!!! His nose was huge and flat too...We of course loved him immediately, but we were a little hesitant to say he was beautiful. The inside joke was, "what will people say when they see him, since he looks so beat up; they can't say how adorable, cute or handsome he is!?" Well, our theory was correct, when a nurse came in later to check on us, she took one look at him, and said, "Well, he's ALL boy!!"

Eric was wonderful, and let me nearly break all of his fingers when things progressed so quickly. I think I scared him-I am usually pretty tough, and that was NOT my finest hour!! He was pretty worried about how much pain I was in...I think we both used a few choice words with the anesthesiologist, to let him know he needed to speed things along!! ( I believe mine was a long, drawn out F bomb, or so I was told later!!)

The sad part is that because things went sideways so quickly, we weren't really prepared with the camera or video camera. Eric did get some pictures right after he was born, but none with me in the delivery room, and none with the doctor-TOTAL BUMMER!!! But the amount we have taken since then should more than make up for it! He looked absolutely huge when he was born, but looking back now, he was a tiny little peanut!! Jake came to the hospital with Eric's parents, and we had told them to take their time-as an induction could take a while. Little did we know...so when the doc broke my water, we called them to tell them to hurry it up-and Jake got to come in and give me a quick kiss right before I started to push. As he tells it, "there is NO WAY I wanted to be in the room, I would be scarred for life!!" Yeah, he would have been!

Jagger August Schurz 8lbs, 5 oz-20.5 inches long

A very proud Daddy!!

A very happy big brother~!
Yep, he was THAT blue for 2 days!!!

The best part was his "Friar Tuck" hairline-you can kind of see it in this pic, but he had long, black hair that went all the way around the base of his head...TOO FUNNY!!!

Daddy was incredibly proud to say that he changed Jagger's very first diaper...too bad they've been few and far between since then!! =)

Pictures of Jagger for Father's Day

Today we went in to see Jagger in 4d (Happy Father's Day honey!) We did get several decent pictures, although his face was pretty smashed up in the placenta. My mom, Eric and I all see resemblance to Jake as a newborn, but we shall see in a couple of months! The slidshow of all the photos is at the bottom of all of the posts.
I am still on modified bedrest, and even though I am taking it pretty easy and taking the meds, I am still having about 2-3 contractions an hour. I don't think the doc is going to let me off the hook tomorrow, but one can hope!

Family Visit

I wanted to post some pictures of my family. I hadn't been home in a year and a half, and made the spit decision a couple of weeks ago that I needed to go back before I was too pregnant and couldn't fly anymore. It's really hard to be pregnant and to have gone through everything we've gone through to get here, and not be able to see my family for so long-so I booked a flight back to Nebraska. What I didn't know when I booked it was that I would end up going home for my Uncle's funeral instead of a nice visit; so I didn't even tell anyone other than immediate family that I was coming home; I knew there would be no time to see anyone with such a short trip planned, and the horrible death of my Uncle that left everyone shocked and devastated. (I'm so sorry NE friends!!) Anyway, as sad as the trip was, it was so good to see everyone; my nephews have gotten so big!! So here are a few pics of my family.

My Aunt Cheri, Grandma and Mom My brother Chad and his wife Jenny
Chad and his 2 1/2 year old son Van
My nephews Colton and Van
My 10 year old nephew Colton with me at 26 weeks

The beginning of our nursery

Before I had to go on bedrest, we had fortunately made some great progress in getting the nursery ready! Eric suprised me by painting the room when I was out of town a couple of weeks ago, and we have all the furniture and bedding done. Now all that's left is decorating, and I can't wait to get it completed...I love the theme we picked out!!

Bed rest...again?!?

I have been having contractions for a couple of weeks now, and finally had a Dr's appt on Tuesday so I could talk about what that means! Not thinking anything other than Braxton Hicks, I wasn't worried at all, they were just more annoying than anything. I was a little suprised and nervous then when my doctor seemed concerned, and asked me to start counting the contractions I was having each hour. Apparently with BH contractions, usually you might have a few and then they stop for awhile; but mine are continuous every hour, even waking me up at night! His warning limit was more than 4 per hour, 2 hours in a row...and he wanted me to come in on Friday (yesterday) to do an ffn test, meant to determine whether or not I might go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Well, we didn't quite make it to yesterday...as I was out with friends for dinner Thursday night, I started having contractions that were 10 minutes apart!!! This went on for over an hour, so I called Eric and told him he'd better meet me at the hospital. (Fortunately, I had just recently "trained" him that he HAD to keep his phone on and by him at ALL TIMES now! =) Jake was REALLY upset that he didn't get to go to the hospital, and called us every 10 minutes we were there. He was just really worried...poor guy! Apparently he ended up bombing a test yesterday that he wasn't able to concentrate on studying for...hopefully a chat with his teacher will straighten things out!
It was a pretty scary night, but even with all of the contractions, my cervix had NOT progressed, and was still well within the normal range for being 28 weeks. The hospital also did the ffn test, which came out negative, so even through all the contractions, this baby was staying put!! The funniest part of the whole night was that the monitor I was hooked up to let us hear EVERY movement the baby was making, and just as I have been saying for weeks, this kid does NOT STOP!!! Each time the nurses came in they would laugh, because he was making such a racket in there! If two minutes went by without him moving, all I would have to say was "maybe NOW he fell asleep"-and I would get a swift kick or elbow to prove me wrong!
They did let us go home after about 4 hours, because the contractions had slowed down and become irregular enough that they felt we weren't in any danger.
Yesterday I went to my dr, knowing that he was going to try to take me off work for the remainder of my pregnancy. I had a compromise that I wanted to try out on him-I would take the medication and do the "modified" bed rest, but could we please just take it a week at a time to see how I was doing? I fortunately have the ability to work from home, but that probably wouldn't fly for the next 12 weeks...so he agreed to taking me out for the next 2 weeks and then evaluating me from there. He basically told me that I have an "irritable" uterus, and that I needed to be on medication to calm it down and hopefully stop the contractions. Between that and the doing NOTHING (which OMG...I have so much to do!!), just in the last 24 hours I've seen a big difference in the amount of contractions.
The biggest concern is that I had this with Jake as well, but it happened much further along-he was only 4 weeks early. Since I have a history of pre-term labor, my doctor will be extra cautious with this one...as will I!! We definitely don't want a 2 lb baby that has to stay in the hospital for weeks-although the size he might be full-term does scare me a bit too!

Picture updates

I promise I will update this weekend, but I have been asked to get some new pictures up...so here they are!
23 weeks

20 weeks

Our perfect baby boy!

12 weeks...wow I was tiny then!

16 weeks

18 weeks on our "babymoon" in San Francisco

WOW...I'm a horrible blogger!-and in case you didn't know, it's a BOY!!

So I guess I owe a few explanations for being MIA for TEN weeks!! The last time that I updated, I was getting ready for the first trimester screening, which I did NOT want to do! Well that was warranted, because unbeknownst to my husband and everyone else, our test came back positive for Downs. FALSE POSITIVE I should add, before continuing the story. I had reasons to believe that everything was going to be fine-the ultrasound part of the testing looked great, but it was the blood test that came back positive... but I was still VERY scared and couldn't quite face talking about it or dealing with it. By choosing NOT to have an Amnio or CVS testing (both which are invasive and while unlikely, still could harm the baby that we tried SOOOO hard to have!)I was told I had to wait 6 more weeks before I could do the next round of Ultrasound/blood testing to rule out Downs Syndrome. Fortunately, I started a new job back at the OC Register right after this first test, so I was able to bury myself in work and not obsess too much.
To make this short, the ultrasound/blood test came back at week 19 PERFECT-our baby boy is PERFECT!!! By really talking about it or obsessing, I was able to stuff it, until the ultrasound was over. I cried the whole way back to work because I was so relieved...I know that I knew all along that he was fine, but I still had held in a lot of emotion surrounding the tests!!
Back to when we found out it was a boy, we went in as early as we could; 13 weeks. We were told it was a boy, and Eric absolutely did NOT believe the tech. He kept thinking that we would come back the next time, and get the "HA! It's really a girl!" Well when we went back at 18 weeks, not only was he still a he, but he made absolute sure that there was NO question...he was not shy at all in showing us the goods!
Now back to more current info-I am 22 weeks, feeling LARGE AND IN CHARGE, and all in all feeling pretty darn good! I am not getting much sleep and am having a little bit of back/tailbone soreness, but otherwise I really feel good!!
This little guy is VERY active...I first felt him moving at just over 16 weeks-the little bubbles that are hard to put your finger on sometimes, but definitely there! Now he has pretty set times that he is active...almost EVERY TIME I am in the car, and then 10am, 4-6pm and again at 10:30 at night (right now!) are his most active. Now I can actually see him move, and feel when his little body pushes up against my skin...this is the BEST part of being pregnant!! Active is an understatement-he is an acrobat for sure! No complaints though-I love it all. Jake is very into it all-he loves to feel him move and talks to my belly all the time....so cute! Eric on the other hand has yet to feel him...his patience is very limited, and if the baby doesn't move within 30 seconds of him putting his hand there, he says the baby doesn't like him! Pretty funny, and very Eric.
I promise, I will be better about updating now-and I will even add pictures!

12 WEEKS!!

We made it-the first big milestone!!! There are so many emotions associated with this week. We "graduated" from Dr. Werlin on Monday, which was sooo sad!! (I cried) We have been there not less than once a week for the last year and a half, and everyone in that office is like an extended part of our family. We got a diploma and a silver spoon, and lots of hugs and good luck as we went out the door! On one hand, it's nice to know that we won't be spending money there almost faster than we can make it anymore, and the fact that I am now DONE WITH SHOTS!! But I will sure miss all of the positive energy, and knowing that I was CONSTANTLY monitored and under the BEST care!! WE LOVE YOU DR. WERLIN!!
Ironically, as I hit the 12 week mark, the morning sickness has decided to make it's way to me. The last 3 mornings the need to run to the bathroom has literally woken me up-but at least it is pretty short lived and then I'm ok the rest of the day! Hopefully it's just a quick phase-but really I can't complain. I have for the most part felt pretty good-and I plan for it to continue this way!
Tomorrow we have our "First trimester screening"-something I fought against for several weeks. My way of thinking is this: IF we were to find out there was something wrong with the baby, such as Downs, it wouldn't change a thing. We would absolutely still go through with it, so why spend the next 6 months being stressed and upset, when there's really nothing we can do to change the outcome? Also, if this first "non-invasive" test comes back positive, even if it's a false positive, then I have to move on to something invasive such as amnio-which has the potential to HARM the baby!! I am a worrier, what can I say...but I have decided to go ahead and do the test, much to the relief of Dr. Werlin. I am told that we will probably be told the sex at this time, so at least that's one bright shiny spot in the whole ordeal!
I do have a belly pic to post, but my card reader is broken-so stay tuned!! I will try to get that up this week.


WE LOVE YOU DR. WERLIN!!

OFF bed rest!

After 9 days of bed rest, I finally got the green light to graduate to "taking it very, very, very easy!" I am so thankful-I was seriously going NUTS, and I don't think I've ever read so many books so quickly!! I was very appreciative of the rain though...it was nice to have that as background noise for several days!
Yesterday we had my 9 week appointment, and the baby was so active during the ultrasound! Jake was able to come with us since school was out, and he was amazed that we could see arms and legs flailing around. These weekly ultrasounds show us how amazingly fast the baby grows, and each week is an unbelievable difference from the last! No more little tadpole, we can definitely tell it's a baby in there! =) I am only 3 weeks away from "graduating" from Dr. Werlin's care...we have been there SO long and been through so much with him, it's really sad to think about leaving! All of his staff is like an extended part of my family-and after so many months of sometimes 3 times a week appointments, it's no wonder why! I can't imagine going from that kind of attentive care to the once a month ob appointment-I'm going to feel neglected and UNDER cared for!
The countdown begins until we find out if I'm right about this little peanut being a girl...I'm also taking it as a girl sign that I have absolutely not been sick, and I was deathly ill with Jake until 5 1/2 months along!! Only 2 weeks to go...yippee!!

Bed rest...again!!

Last night was a VERY scary night...I woke up at 2:30 for the usual bathroom trip, but ended up having some pretty major "spotting". This has been happening off and on for a couple of weeks, but VERY LIGHTLY...nothing like last night! I was at Werlin's office this morning right when they opened, because I really needed some peace of mind that everything was ok with the baby! I was so relieved to see his car there, I kind of lost it in the parking lot. He took me right in, and checked me all out-and everything is fine...Thank GOD! The baby was even moving around in there, which was such a relief to see!! BUT-I am now on bedrest, for an undetermined amount of time. I have another appointment with him on Monday, and he will tell me then how much longer I have to stay down-but this is one time I am happy to obey the bedrest rules!! If only my house was clean to start with-ughhh!!! Oh well, it's all worth it to know I'm helping her stay where she belongs!

Had another ultrasound yesterday, and we are now sure that there's only one baby. She's (I think it's a girl!) growing strong and right on track; but the other sac remains empty. I guess it's pretty normal when that happens...but it's still very sad. At least we have one, and that's all we could ever have asked for!! I'm still feeling pretty good...a little queasy the last 2 days, but nothing that shoving food in my mouth doesn't cure!

There's a heartbeat!

Here's our baby!!

Last week we had our first ultrasound (yes, I have been slacking on the blog!), and we were able to see the little sac. And yes, there was just one !!
After 4 days of the flu and a delayed dr. appt this week, we went in today to see TWO sacs...but what looks like only one baby. AND A HEARTBEAT!!! That is such a huge relief to see!! The doc is pretty sure that sac #2 is empty, but as he is famous for saying, let's wait and see what next week brings!!
I was sure on Saturday that I was experiencing some horrific morning sickness issues...but thankfully it turned out to just be the flu. Other than that, I'm still feeling pretty good!!

Tomorrow's another big day!

I had another hcg test on Friday, and it was 1429...which again is MORE than doubling every 48, not even every 60 hours!! Not sure what that means exactly, and all the doctor will say is it's a very healthy pregnancy! WHEW!
Tomorrow we have our first ultrasound, which will tell us if there are one or two babies in there, and maybe even give us a heartbeat (or two)! We are counting down the hours!!
I am still feeling pretty great, but there are a couple of things that I am noticing. Food, which I love, is not tasting the same. I get really hungry for something, get it, and then I'm totally disappointed that it doesn't taste good to me! This will of course keep me from overdoing it, but it's still a bummer! At least I still have an appetite though! =)
Then there's the complete and utter exhaustion. I would sleep all day and night if I could, and I think I would STILL be tired! But hey, these are minor issues, and absolutely nothing to complain about. Just observations!
I will of course update tomorrow after our ultrasound...I think it's time for a nap!

5 WEEKS!!

My hcg numbers are still climbing!! Today was 597, which is MORE than doubling every 60 hours-so the question remains; one baby or two?!? Monday was 299, so we are sitting really well.

I am extremely happy to report that the ONLY symptom I have right now (other than the bloating already mentioned) is EXHAUSTION...but I will take it! (that just means more naps!)

Eric is still not letting me do anything, which is sweet- but also pretty frustrating! I am not one to just sit around and do nothing, so it's a little hard. But again, all worth it in the end!

It's OFFICIAL!!!!

I went in for my blood test yesterday to confirm that the FOUR home tests i had taken were in fact accurate...and I got the call I have been waiting for for 17 months...I'm REALLY pregnant!!! YIPPPEEEEE!!! Dr. Werlin even called me all the way from Steamboat CO to tell me how excited and happy he was for us...what a guy!!
My HCG level was 131 (which is in the high normal range!!), and my progesterone was over 100 as well. Both GREAT levels, and definitely out of any danger zone!! I of course asked if I was in the range for twins, and the Nurse Practitioner said that if she had to guess at this point, she would say that it was one baby...but that could change by next week! Yikes!!
I will be back in Monday and Wednesday next week to make sure my levels are doubling like they are supposed to, and then HOPEFULLY Friday for our first ultrasound!!
It is finally sinking in for us, and we are so excited!! Jake's response was the best-when I asked him if he was ready to be a big brother, his smile stretched from one end of the room to the other, and he told us that he had been praying EVERY night for this, and he was sooo happy! He then asked me yesterday if he could start telling his friends, because he was "bursting with excitement and needed to be able to share it!!" What a great kid...we are already so blessed, and it looks like now we will be even more so!

Which one of these beauties makes it...or is it both?

Backtracking through 2008

We have covered a whole lot of ground since the last time I posted!!
It has been a very rough year, and most of the time too painful to put into words. We ended up doing 3 MORE rounds of IVF (two of them Frozen Embryo Transfers, or FETs, and then one more full IVF round.) Each round was more of the very painful shots, 5 days of bedrest, and then the complete and utter letdown when we got the negative results. Each time proved to be more upsetting than the last, with 4 embryos transferred on Try 2, 5 embryos transferred on Try 3, and then a lucky break came with our last full round. I did incorporate acupuncture the last 2 times, and for anyone going through infertility, I HIGHLY recommend it. The stress relief alone it offers is a Godsend, not to mention it truly does increase your chances!!

This round we were able to do a 5 day blastocyst transfer, which means that the embryos were doing so well on day 3 that the doctor makes the decision to let them grow a couple more days in the dish before transferring them back in. This increases the chances of an actual pregnancy, so on day 5 the doctor transferred just 2 beautifully developed, hundreds of cell-blastocysts. I was on bedrest over Christmas which was REALLY hard, but since this was the 4th time for the 5 day bedrest, at least I was prepared!! (It did force me to get all of my shopping and wrapping done early, which was actually a very nice change!!) With all of the prayers and support we had been blessed with, we were really hoping that this time would be our Christmas miracle...

I decided to take a pg test on NYE morning, so at 4:30am I was up and in the bathroom...it felt like Christmas morning as a kid!! As I watched the stick for any signs of that second line, i kept thinking...my life could forever change in this instant. And guess what?!?!? IT DID!!! After hundreds of tests with that single line only...we FINALLY had a positive read!!! Ok, well not only one positive, but now FOUR positives!!! Eric was being a Doubting Thomas, so he kept making me take more tests. I think he finally believes it...but tomorrow is the actual blood test, so after that I think he will breathe easier!!

Although I feel like I am 5 months pregnant already with the "progesterone bloat", I couldn't be happier or more excited. I am dying to know if there are one or two babies growing in there...and I am pretty sure I have to wait a couple more weeks to find that part out!! I am sure I will have a million questions for Dr. Werlin tomorrow...I can't wait to finally give HIM some good news, since he has had to be the bearer of all of our bad news!! Happy New Year to all of our friends and family, and know that we could not be making this journey without all of your love and support!!